I haven't been this irritable in a while. Maybe spreading myself so thin was a mistake.

I feel unfulfilled. I feel guilty. I feel like I'm eating myself. Yet part of me knows or at least believes that I'm capable.

I feel a candle being burnt at both ends, but it's not giving a bright light.

Why can't I focus? My days are ill-spent, and yet I feel like I have no time at all. My mind is constantly occupied with things I would rather it not be. Things I do not care about. I'm not learning; I'm not growing; I am throwing away my time.

What am I working toward?

There's an internal lack of honesty. I'm not even letting my mind wander. I am quieting it.

Am I waiting for something?

When I get home, I don't want to program anymore. I feel like I'm trading my patience for money.